In Memoriam

My smart, funny best friend of 20 years has left me for a little while.  He departed this life at about 5 PM today.  Rest in peace, Craig.  I'll see you soon my Sweet Bear.

Carrying On

Chaplain Patrick from Lutheran Senior Services Hospice suggested that I continue the blog in the same spirit as Craig has been blogging.  The problem I have with that is that Craig is the idea guy.  He has all the topics he wants to write about.  At the moment, he's engaged in other activities and isn't sharing his ideas with me. 

I can tell you that he is resting comfortably here at home.  There are no beeping machines or bright lights.  Well, the oxygen concentrator is a little noisy, but we've both grown pretty used to it.  He's in the living room at the moment, and the Rams game from 8/20 that he had set to record is playing.  Later, he and I will watch the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie together as we had planned.  And there is a lot more preseason football on the recorder.

Unlikely

From Diana again:

I'm sorry to say that it is highly unlikely that Craig will be blogging again. He has taken a turn for the worse and seems to be going downhill pretty rapidly. In addition, he has been unable to get his email due to a password problem, so he hasn't been able to get any emails people may have sent. You can post replies here and I can get them and pass them along, or, if you have my email address, you can email me.

Still Here

I don't have much to say today except that I'm still here. Just want everyone to know I'm here. Got a couple of things to do, so I'll sign off and do them. Sorry to be so brief and not to be posting a photo.

Still Here

Another quick post from Diana:
Craig did not post to his blog today because he had a very busy day. We had lots of visitors and once they all left, we went to the Apple store at the Galleria so that Craig could get a new Macbook Air. We hope this will solve the problem of his having to go up and down the stairs to his office. As you might imagine, he's pretty tired after all of that, but hopefully, he will have a restful night and be back to blogging tomorrow.

NFL: Part 1

The post for today was a little depressing. I'm going to write a little about NFL Preseason Football.

First of all I have to mention Steve Spagnuolo. I think he will be a great coach. Another thing to like about him is that people who stay true to their regional dialects also stay true to the people they're with. A Good thing.

The Rams won the Preseason Opener against the Indianapolis Colts. Maybe not the greatest achievement because Peyton Manning sat on the bench with neck problems. But they won and Sam Bradford looked terrific!

There were rule changes this year. For one thing the players kick off from the 35-yard line. Every kickoff goes into the end zone. Dumb.

For another, every play is reviewed. More penalties that way. Don't know why they did that.

Oh, well. It's Preseason. I have no control over the game. Sit. back, relax, and enjoy the the game.

Chill

As we prepared for bed I got very chilled. I put the white sweatshirt on over the usual night shirt. Still cold. I put on the black sweat pants. Got into bed sweating like crazy.

It's possible that Diana got up once or twice in the night to remark that I was sweating. I was comfortable and stayed that way until we got out of bed at the usual time, 

I feel normal now. 

Off Day

Every now and then I have a bad day. Yesterday was one such. When I got up I just stood around leaning over. That's not too bad, but a lot of what I said didn't make sense to Diana. She was concerned. It lasted into the evening. During dinner I told Diana she had forgotten the cloth napkins. Got up to get  the napkins from the cabinet behind me. She pointed out that I already had a napkin on the tale. on the table.

I seem to be OK today. We'll see how it goes.

South City: Part 1

We live in a suburb of St. Louis that cartographers call South St. Louis. None of the residents call it that. It was, is, and always will be South City. We love it here.

A while back I had a blog called South City Sights. Each day's entry consisted of a photo from the local area and a brief description.

One of the nicest parts of it is the River Des Peres Greenway. I'm not going to kid you. The River Des Peres is nothing more than a long open sewer. The walkway is something else. A lovely and a refreshing change from walking or riding on the streets and sidewalks. It extends in two different directions and affords hours of walking.

I can no longer walk the Greenway. Maybe I can do it in a wheelchair later this summer. I've thought that if we get an out-of-town visitor it would be fun to get a t-shirt with a photo of a yacht at a dock and label it Green Rivers Des Peres Greenway.

More photos and descriptions to come. Enjoy!

Groceries

One of the good things going on is that I can still do grocery shopping with Diana. I use the cane to get to our car. She drives to the grocery story of our choice, Schnucks, and then pulls close enough for me to get out. While I go into the store to get a motorized cart she parks in a handicapped parking space. We just got our handicap tag this week.

Once in the store I try to keep out of the way of other shoppers. Perhaps the most difficult area of the store is the dairy aisle. For a long time we have been aware of Cheese Paralysis. The store has an excellent selection of cheeses. It's so good, in fact, that people just stand there contemplating their choices. I guess that's a good thing.

Once we have navigated that we can cart the groceries to the car and return home.

Comments tutorial

From Diana:

Several people have emailed their comments saying that they couldn't use the comments function on the blog.  I'm not sure why, although Blogger is occasionally flaky.  Just in case it's because posting a comment takes several steps, this is a brief tutorial.

To post comments to Blogger, select "Comments" at the bottom of the blog post, then select a profile.  I would suggest Name/URL  or anonymous.

If you selected Name/URL, you can just type in your name.  You don't have to use an URL.  Then click on the "Continue" button.

Type in your comment and click on the "Post Comment" button.

You will then have to type in the Captcha phrase that shows up and again click on the "Post Comment" button.

If any of the buttons or Captcha phrases don't show up, your browser may not support them.  You might try another browser or make sure you've updated to the latest version.  Or you might try waiting a few hours and try again, since, as mentioned, Blogger can sometimes be flaky.

Correction

I misread the NFL preseason schedule. Games have already been played. Time to go upstairs and do some more scheduling

Football

Today I will start a series of occasional posts on football. By that I mean American football, NFL football.

Tomorrow we will have the first preseason game: The Baltimore Ravens at the Philadelphia Eagles. The Colts will play the Rams later in the day.

I like watching football. One of the things I like is that I have no control over the outcome of the game. I am free to sit there, watch, and enjoy.

When we moved to the St. Louis area the nearest NFL team was the Kansas City Chiefs. I bought a Chiefs sweatshirt. Sometime prior to our moving here they had move the St. Louis Cardinals to Arizona. Not a good thing. A few years later they moved the Los Angeles Rams to St. Louis, something I suppose the Californians didn't appreciate either.

In 2000 the Rams won Super Bowl XXXIV against the Tennessee Titans. Dick Vermeil was the coach and Kurt Warner was the quarterback replacing the injured Trent Green. Ironically, Warner later transferred to the Arizona Cardinals who won a Super Bowl in 2008. Quite a player.

So forgive me if I don't pay much attention to cancer for a while.

Double Dactyl

After writing yesterday's post (a rhyme which I've known for a long time) I learned that it's a double dactyl. I had to do something silly because yesterday was not at all a good day. In the late afternoon I took a dose of liquid morphine. Almost immediately I go a strong chill. Diana claims it was coincidence. I'm not sure. I put on a sweatshirt and kept it on the rest of the day. This tossed the rest of Diana's day into turmoil. Neither of us slept well but I think I got more sleep than she did. I coughed a lot. The hospice worker has since given me a nebulizer med which will probably address that kind of problem.

So I took a day  off with a higgeldy piggeldy.

Not a bad tradeoff.

trivia

Higgledy piggeldy
Benjamin Harrison
Twenty-third President was
And as such
Served between Clevelands
And save for that trivial idiosynyracy
Didn't do much

(That's the best I can come up with today. Apparently the best Ben could do too.)

Current Status

When I started this blog I had no idea how long I would be able to continue it. I did my first post on July 19th. It's been about 25 days. Not bad at all.

I don't feel like I'm on top of the world but I have felt worse. Let's say I've had worse hangovers. And this week was good in that I gained a pound.

I haven't increased the dosage of any of my meds. I can't walk quickly. I am using my cane to get around when I take Kibbitz to the back yard. We have a borrowed wheelchair that I haven't used yet but that might happen soon. The outdoor temperatures have backed off the three-digit figures. We might, just might, be able to go on a walk (ride) with the All Dogs Meetup group before long.

The most important thing remains: meeting Diana is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Small Mysteries, Round 1

Here's one of those days when there are no new cancer issues so I will write about something else.

One of my college summer jobs was working in a warehouse in West Milton. There wasn't much work... or much pay. For whatever reason, maybe because everyone else was doing it, I decided to start chewing tobacco. I thought it was de rigeur to spit the tobacco juice. One of the seasoned veterans told me that wasn't a good thing to do, that I needed the saliva, and that I would be better off swallowing. That stuck with me.

During the summer I have been watching  St. Louis Cardinals baseball. For a while I used to watch the game until  one of the players spit. Not tobacco, just saliva. That didn't last long because someone on the team usually spits onto the ground within 15 minutes of game start. 

An exception is one of the best Cardinal players, Albert Pujols. I like to watch him trot around the bases blowing bubble gum. Most of the rest of the players spit on the ground. If anyone knows why please share the reason with me. 

It doesn't happen in other sports. You never see a tennis player or a golfer spitting. You rarely see an NFL player spitting but I suspect that has more to do with their not wanting spit hanging off their face masks.

I have seen complaints on various discussion lists about tobacco spit on the ground. Thing is, it will disappear with the next good rain. What won't disappear is chewing gum. A very few merchants will clean chewing gum off their sidewalks. I would be willing to bet, though, that you can't walk 50 yards without seeing deposits of chewing gum.

It's a Small Mystery.

Meds

Before the cancer arrived I took a variety of pills each day. Herbals, such as ginkgo biloba. That has changed. We returned home from Barnes-Jewish with a very large selection of ethical drugs.

Some of the list has changed. For example you can only take an antibiotic for so long without some severe side effects. Another that has gone by the way is a Lidocaine patch. That is a transdermal patch to relieve pain in the bones. Didn't seem to be that effective.

The primary drug I take, the one I take most frequently, is morphine. I am on a 15mg dose. I take two of those every four hours. It is effective. Sometimes I take a 55mg oral dose of liquid morphine. Fast acting.

Morphine brings digestive problems with it. I take four Senna for that, two in the morning, two in the evening. Twice a day I take a 30mg dose of lactulose. I also drink lots of water. Another drug for indigestion is nexium.

Dexamethasone is a helpful drug. One of the first effects of my cancer was that it killed my appetite. Dexamethasone restored it.

At lunch time and dinner time I take gabapentin. Tylenol is another pain reliever and liquid Maalox helps with indigestion.

I still take herbals. Here are there presumed effects:

Ginkgo biloba. Most people take this to increase blood circulation to the brain. I have found by trying it that it diminishes the tinnitus I picked up in the Army (while photographing the launching of Honest John rockets).

Saw palmetto. Treats benign prostatic hyperplasia.

Milk thistle. As a liver tonic.

Aspirin. Not an herbal. I've taken it for many years as a blood anticoagulant.

I must mention that in my entire life I have never taken an illegal drug with the exception of marijuana. The last time I did that was in the late 1970s. I got a batch that was so potent that if I toked one I went semi-conscious for the rest of the day.

One drug that I got at BJC that has nothing to do with cancer is tamsulosin (brand name Flomax). Prostate problems arrive with advanced age and that stuff really helps.

As you can imagine it is not easy to keep track of all this stuff but I do it.

Ginny's Dogs

This entry isn't about cancer. Every now and then I like to dwell on pleasant memories. Today it's about my Aunt Ginny's dogs.

Mamie was Ginny's first dog. She was mostly cocker spaniel. Ginny loved the dog but she didn't do the usual cocker things with her like having her tail docked or her fur trimmed. Mostly Mamie lay around being a pile of fur. (One time Ginny did have Mamie's fur trimmed. Later in the day my grandmother saw her and tried to shoo her away because she didn't recognize her.)

To give you some time perspective Mamie was named after President Dwight Eisenhower's wife which puts this narrative in the early 1950s.

We lived in West Milton, Ohio, a small village north of Dayton. West Milton extended perhaps three miles from one end to the other. Mamie had Visitor Dog Syndrome. There were no leash laws and she could go pretty much wherever she wanted to go. My family lived near the south end of town and we were never surprised to see Mamie show up.

One of the bad things about not being leashed. Like most dogs I've known Mamie was terrified of fireworks. One July 4th she ran far and hard. Sometime during that trip she got hit by a car. It broke her jaw but she survived.

Ginny used to drive to the local soft-serve ice cream shop and buy an ice cream cone. She'd wedge it in the back seat and Mamie would eat it. Good thing that Mamie wasn't lactose intolerant.

Ginny's other dog was Stella John. Not sure of her breed; she was one of those little fluff dogs.

Stella John had a thing for bugs. If a flying bug got into the house she would chase it until she got it. Ginny worked this into a routine. If she saw a bug she would say "Buggies!" and Stella John went into action. Ginny worked on the dialog until all she had to say was, "Hon, I think I see one" and Stella John was off and going.

The dogs enriched our lives and I hope we enriched theirs.

Less Heat

The highest temperature I see in the forecast for the coming week is 95. And there are temperatures cooler than that. Yay!

I don't expect to be out and about much but still it will be nice. I am waiting in dread for my electrical bill. The A/C has been going nearly nonstop for the past few weeks.

As for me, I'm a bit wobbly today. I will use my cane when I go outside with the dog. Inside I will just try to be careful.

I am weak. Can't lift the 40-pound dog. Doesn't look that heavy, does she?

So what I have to do is accept. And I do.

Today is a hospice visit. I enjoy those sessions. My hospice worker is very understanding and helpful.

That's a good thing

Flower Mountain

A few years ago we had a small brick patio installed in the back yard just behind our sun room. The workers piled the dirt next to the patio excavation. Diana took charge of planting native wildflowers on Flower Mountain. She planted a good stand of echinacea. They're lovely when they're in bloom. We do not chop these down when they're done blooming; rather we let them stand until the small birds in the area start eating the seeds. Yesterday we got our first glimpse of a finch eating the seeds. There will be more. I will try to get a photo of this later on. Not an easy shot but I think I can do it once it gets a bit cooler outside. The outside temperature is not quite as high as it has been. The weather bunnies predict 90 degrees.

Upstairs/Downstairs

I have a solution to the stair-climbing dilemma. I will use my old laptop computer (the iBook G4) upstairs to do some of the things that keep me going up and down. I was not able to set up a network as I envisioned it but I did get a couple of things done. I can now send and receive e-mail from upstairs. I can also play my favorite card game, Australian Patience, from the laptop. If Australian Patience seems like a waste of time remember that it's on my bucket list.

Thanks to all who offered alternate solutions. I think I will be OK now.

Snoozing

Forgive me. I've usually posted by this time but today i got caught up in a nap marathon. I have an idea for the stairs dilemma. I will work on that this afternoon and will do a post later today.

Pax

Not Easy

One of the things I face several times a day is going up and down the stairs to the basement to work on my computer. It is a slog.

The lighting isn't good. On the left you can see three small white dots. These are motion sensor lights that help illuminate the steps. There is a handrail on the left. Tried to install a rail on the right but the are no wood studs to attach it to.

I know that someday we will have to rearrange things so my computer is upstairs. That distresses me because I won't be able to move my computer desk. I'll include photos of that in a forthcoming blog. I built the computer desk by placing a door on top of a couple of filing cabinets. Nice, but I will lose it. 

One time I fell while I was trying to make my way downstairs. Probably trying to carry too much with me on the way. I landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Fortunately I didn't break anything.

Not sure how soon I will move the computer upstairs but if anyone has any suggestions I would like to see them.

Manor Grove Village

Now and then I have to choose a blog topic that brings back some pleasant memories. One such is a condo in Wilton Manors, Florida: Manor Grove Village. I lived on the second floor of a three-bedroom unit. The condo came with swimming pool, tennis courts, royal palms, thousands of singing frogs, and a flock of raucous parrots that used to land in a palm tree just off my patio. Visitors sometimes asked who the parrots belonged to. Easy answer: themselves. 

Farley the Cat lived there, too. He helped me discover one of the less-desirable features about the condo. There was a air-conditioner vent in the bathroom. Every now and then I would take the vent off to clean inside. One time Farley managed to jump from the bathroom sink and through the vent. Gone. I went into the attic and discovered that there were no building firewalls from one end of the building to the other. Duly noted. We moved on to other locations

Years later I read an article that the building that the building burned to the ground from one end to the other. 

A cautionary tale

Muscular Dystrophy

In a previous blog entry I mentioned that on the maternal side of my family there were three siblings who had limb girdle muscular dystrophy. I will depart from the usual theme of this blog to talk about limb girdle muscular dystrophy which I will refer to as MD.

It is not the "Jerry's Kids" MD. Related but not the same.

The oldest of the three was Dale. He stayed in his wheelchair most of his life. He didn't attend high school (more about which later). His interests were many. Among other things he was a stringer for a local morning newspaper, the Journal Herald. One time he asked me to take him to a new construction in the area. I believe it had something to do with water processing. He wrote an article about it. When he submitted his article to the newspaper he asked them to credit me with the photo. Dale lived to age 53.

The middle sibling was Mary. Her early reaction to MD was denial. She did not finish high school, either. She did, however, strike out on her own. She bought a small house in a suburb of Dayton and began working as a coordinator for charitable organizations. The organization she did not work for was MDA, the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Ironically Mary died of cancer at age 50.

The youngest sib was Ginny. She did finish high school and this is the remarkable thing: Our high school had absolutely no handicap access. No ramps, no elevators, no curb cuts, no anything.

Ginny didn't always use a wheelchair to get around. She did learn how to drive a car and got around quite nicely with that. (And here's a reminder to myself to write an entry about the car and Mamie the Dog.)

She lived a full life to age 56.

Food

I've mentioned that I tried fixing dinner once and made a mess of the kitchen. That doesn't mean that I will stop trying. I'll just try to be a little neater. Diana will still prepare most of our meals but I will do some of them. For several years now I have tried to stick to a pattern when planning a menu for the week. We usually have three main dishes for two meals per dish. The pattern is one fish dish, one meatless meal, and one meal with meat, usually poultry. That leaves one more meal. Sometimes we have pizza (so shoot me) or possibly leftover soup and some freshly-baked bread.

Our favorite recipes come from a book called Pillsbury: Fast and Healthy Cookbook. Diana bought this for me several years ago. One would expect lots of cookie recipes (Pillsbury). Not true The book has a wide variety of dishes such as Tortellini with Tomato Sauce. Good and healthy.

We seldom eat out mainly because we don't like to leave Kibbitz home alone but also because the typical restaurant serving is adequate for two-and-a-half really hungry people.


When I first learned about the cancer my appetite plummeted to near zero. Now, however, I can eat a bit more. One of my meds is helpful: dexamethasone. Does wonders for the appetite.

So... hooray for food.

Comments, Comments, Comments

Everyone who tries to post a comment to my blog has some kind of problem with it. I have a setting wrong and I can't get it right. I will work on it tonight when my computer genius (Diana) returns from work. In the meantime send me an e-mail. At least I will get it.

Patience.

Craig

Chaplain

My hospice care is provided by LSS, Lutheran Senior Services. Among the many things they offer is counseling by a chaplain. Yesterday I spent a few hours with the local chaplain Patrick. One of the things I sought was a way to find a pathway between the religious beliefs that Diana and I have. Patrick was helpful. He recommended a couple of books, one of which is The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. That is available as an iBook so I bought it and am reading it. Interesting book. Patrick has a couple more recommendations for me and I will read them, too.

We talked about lots of other things including favorite fiction authors (Lee Child, for example) and TV shows. He likes "Lost."

We will meet again in a couple of weeks. In the meantime Sue will be here today. Need to talk with her about meds because I woke up in the middle of the night with a screaming case of heartburn which was probably brought on by the cancer meds.

Also when I woke up the song "Metal on Metal" by Anvil was going through my mind. It's a heavy metal song. Explain that to me.

A Day in the Life

I have a lot going through my mind and will create another blog entry for today.

As minor as it seems I think a lot about blue jeans. I have perhaps 10 pairs of jeans and none of them fit. I can cinch the belt but they still have a tendency to fall off. I hope we can resolve that this weekend when Diana is home and can take me to the store. In the meantime, I look like the falling pants video.
I usually get up before Diana leaves for work. I loaf around a while sipping a cup of juice and then eat a light breakfast. Then I take a nap. That lasts until Diana arrives at work and gives me a call to let me know she arrived safely, an important thing.

The next thing in line is cleaning up. We have a very nice shower with hand braces but I feel shaky using it so I don't do that unless she's home to call 911 in case I fall and concuss myself. We do have a seat for the shower but I am not comfortable using it.

After that I recline on the couch and scan through news items on my iPad. That is a super device. In addition to being able to browse the web I can play the occasional game. The current favorite is Card Shark Solitaire. I play Klondike 3. I have downloaded a version of one of the most popular games, Crazy Birds, but it hasn't grabbed hold of me... yet. Oh, yeah. I also play Australian Patience. My current win percentage in 5%. Not easy.

Light lunch and some more napping. Under other circumstances I might feel guilty but  I don't.

I usually watch a movie I've recorded. Showtime and HBO were on my bucket list. Every now and then there's a good movie. More often it just becomes background noise.

Kibbitz has adapted herself to my schedule. She snoozes a lot. Right now she is having eye problems. The vet first diagnosed her with pinkeye. Whatever it is, it's more serious with that. Our vet can't cure it so we will take Kibbitz to a dog ophthalmologist (limited office hours) later this week.

Diana returns home in the early evening. She fixes supper. I did that once this week and make a horrible mess.

Kibbitz perks up and we play with her a while.

We then watch one, maybe two, of the shows we've recorded. Current favorites are "In Plain Sight,"  "Warehouse 13," "Rizzoli and Isles,"and of course "The Big C."

Diana just let me know that the Comments button doesn't work. I have to adjust it.

Enough for now.

Humor

Diana and I have begun to watch a Showtime series called "The Big C." If you receive Showtime I strongly recommend that you watch it. If not you can follow it on Twitter or Facebook. You can also see more about it on Showtime's web site. Try it out! http://tinyurl.com/3g6wgdf

The premise of the show is that a young woman has gotten cancer and is learning how to deal with it. While the show takes cancer very seriously the producers also realized that a healthy dose of humor makes just about any difficult subject easier to follow.

On a slightly different track someone recently asked me how she could comment on my blog entries. I have not tried this but I think it's as easy as poking the comment button that appears at the bottom of each blog entry.

P2V

After I posted the blog entry about dogs being good for your health I saw an article on TV about an organization called P2v.org. Exactly the same subject. Worthwhile reading.

http://p2v.org/

A health secret

I  have had marginally high blood pressure for most of my adult life. When I joined the Army in in the late 1960s I packed all kinds of aids into my dopp kit. The Army confiscated them from me. Once I started Basic Training my BP dropped to normal. I am sure that was due to plenty of exercise and a good diet. At the time each military unit prepared its own food and despite what you may have heard about mess halls it consisted of good balanced meals. I'll admit I couldn't eat the weekly serving of liver but it was still balanced.

After the Army I continued to have high BP. I resisted doctors' advice to medicate for it.

About eight years ago I cured my high blood pressure when our Boston Terrier Kibbitz came to live with us. It should be a widely-know fact that a cat or a dog can bring your blood pressure down. Don't know why it isn't. Two-way street, of course. You have to treat the dog or cat well. For the sake of this blog entry I will talk about dogs.

One of the most important things in a dog's life is consistency. Put the dog on a schedule: meals, walks, playtime, bed time. She'll love it.

It should go without saying that you should never strike a dog. If I walk up to Kibbitz and raise my hand she starts looking for a treat. No hitting. If you're trying to train a dog one of the best devices is a cola can with a dozen coins in it. Tape on the opening to keep the coins from falling out. If you shake the can it makes a loud, annoying noise and the dog will stop doing whatever she might have been doing wrong. 

Pet your pet. My blood pressure is always in the normal range and I suspect Kibbitz's is, too.

A word about cats. One of the ways a cat will show affection is by scent-marking you. For years I had a cat named Farley. When I returned home from work Farley would spend a great deal of time rubbing the area above his eyebrows on me. Low BP for cats, too.

Wheelchairs, Round 2

I know a lot about wheelchairs because when I was a kid I had an uncle and two aunts with limb-girdle muscular dystrophy. This is not the "Jerry's Kids" variety but rather a disease that allows the victim to live into his or her 50s. My uncle was the oldest of the three siblings. He rarely left his chair. Compare it to the more conventional metal chair which my aunts used.

When there was an empty chair I would occasionally get into it and try maneuvering it around. Not an easy thing. The small town where we lived had small sidewalks. Once I got the chair onto the sidewalk I may have had a few inches leeway on either side. I'd go a short distance and then the chair would slip off the sidewalk and onto the street. I'd have to get out of the chair and lift it back onto the sidewalk. Not exactly what an MD patient would do. It was a good learning experience.

Other relatives built a ramp going into the house. I would often try to wheel the metal chair up the ramp. I simply couldn't do it. I didn't have a great deal of strength when I was a kid. Perhaps if I tried it now, knowing a little more as I do about wheelchair braking I could have gotten up. 

There's one other thing I have to mention. When I would wheel any on my relatives around town I noticed that people we passed would avoid looking at us. Not sure why that is. It was another lesson

     

Wheelchairs, Round 1

When we started going to Barnes Jewish Hospital on a regular basis in May I started using the wheelchairs they have available for their patients. Diana usually commented that I got one of the wider wheelchairs. Thing is, they're all wide. Sign of the times. These are chairs designed for the person weighing up to 300 pounds.

This weekend when we went grocery shopping I got into a different kind of wheelchair, the kind with a shopping cart attached. As long as I have to be semi-mobile I've decided I really like these shopping carts. I can zip around the store like crazy. I'm grateful to the grocery store for providing these.

As the title of this post implies I will have more to say about wheelchairs tomorrow.

The Most Important Thing

I've been working on this blog as if I'm the main character involved. Not true.

My wife Diana has completely rearranged her life to try to make me comfortable. Before the cancer we shared chores around the house. I prepared most of the meals, did some of the laundry on weekends, helped with menu-planning and grocery shopping, took the dog on longer walks than just going to the back yard. Diana now does all of those things. As well she washes the dishes, makes the bed, and takes trips to the basement to get stuff for me (it's not an easy walk).

I can only begin to describe how lucky I was to meet Diana and even luckier that she consented to marry me. We've been married almost 20 years. I wish it could be 20 more.

Mortality

I don't know how many people think about their own mortality, the end of days, but I have thought about it for some number of years. There was a period of time when I thought that 71 was the optimum age. Be careful what you wish for.

From what I can understand of the statistics I can find about mortality an American male born in 1941 could expect to live into his or her early 60s.  But I really don't know.

I may have started thinking about my contemporaries in 2004. My two best friends in high school died on consecutive days in May, 2004. One had cancer, the other had a massive heart attack.

I've watched my maternal family. There were seven children. Three of them had limb/girdle muscular dystrophy which ended their lives early. The others died in their 50s with one exception. My uncle Bob is 84 and going strong, more power to him.

There was even a period of time when I tracked the deaths of high-school classmates.. I quit doing that in 2008. I'm not really in touch with any of my high-school classmates now but I expect that will change. Not that I am trying to reestablish relationships but that I want to give others in my class a chance to know where I was and what I was doing.

May 14th

On Saturday, May 14, 2011, we went to Barnes Jewish Hospital for a followup check on some things. I learned, among other things, that I had an elevated level of calcium which is not a good thing. After some more discoveries I admitted myself as an emergency patient and stayed in the hospital a couple of days. They allowed me to see  my X-rays. There was a tumor on my partially-collapsed  right lung and evidence of bone cancer to my right hip.

After a couple of days I came home and returned to BJC (Siteman Cancer Center) for two weeks of radiation therapy for my lung cancer and bone cancer.

Since then I've been at home. I can more or less take care of myself. I can get dressed, feed myself lunch, take the dog out to water the back yard.

Siteman sent me home with a long list of medications. Among other things I am taking morphine for the pain and it's actually working. I've cut back a little on the other medications (you can only take antibiotics for so long without ill effects).

In mid-July I began hospice. It's a great thing. They have taken over monitoring my medications, provided me with oxygen, and given me advice. A hospice worker comes by once a week to see how I am doing.

My status now is that I feel OK. No insurmountable pain. And I invoked my bucket list: I subscribed to the premium TV channels like HBO and Showtime.

Lots more to think about but for now I am going to relax.